Cult Classic - The Army of Darkness

I was first shown the 3rd in the Evil Dead series during a drama class, and I would be lying if I didn't say that I hated it, however my opinion was deeply shaded by the fact that I wasn't enjoying drama at the time and that the HSC was in the process of putting my brain though a blender. A couple of years later I caught Army of Darkness on television and was laughing my head off within a few minutes, seeing the first two movies isn't at all vital to enjoying the third.

The star of this series, Bruce Campbell enjoys a status in a similar fashion to Chuck Norris. Granted he doesn't have a third fist under his beard or have Jesus following him on twitter but he is recognised as the coolest hero of B-movies. The main character Ash, who chopped off his hand with a chain saw after it became infected with evil and since replaced it with the chain saw, has been sent back in time... Don't ask why... it's not important. Mistaken as a solider of Henry the Red he is taken to the castle in chains. He is sentenced to be executed by being thrown into a pit with unspeakable Eldritch horrors... just roll with it. After defeating the evils with his chain saw and double barrel Remington shot gun he frees Henry the Red's men and forces the people of the castle to find a way to send him home. This is also the scene where we get some of the best quotes from this movie, including 'all right you primitive screw heads, this. is. my. BOOM STICK'.

Embeth Davidtz plays the love interest Shelia, yes, that's really her name. I know this because I looked it up... thank you IMDB, and found out she is in fact cast as Mary Parker in the upcoming Spiderman reboot as well as having serious roles in movies such as Schindler's List. Where as Bruce Campbell appears to be able to survive simply off making cameos. The wise man tells Ash that he can return him home if he journeys to fetch the Necronomicon, a book the people also need to vanquish the evil in the land. After a brief montage of getting ready, in which we see an almost fetishistic love from director Sam  Raimi of sudden zooms in, Ash leaves on his quest. Chased by a unseen evil he hides in a windmill and we enter one of the tripiest scenes... I don't really want to spoil what happens here as I don't think I could do it justice but the end result is an evil Ash appears. Ask buries his evil counterpart and continues on to the cemetery, he grabs the Necronomicon but fails to say the correct magic words and raises the army of darkness. Shelia is captured and thus Ash must rally the castle to fight against the forces of evil led by the again risen evil Ash.

This movie is great fun... it's pure retro silliness with a few really good lines. The special effects are bad even for the time but that adds to the enjoyment of it all. This is a fun movie to see but again one of those that is even better in a group, it has a decent re-watch value as well. Especially considering the first time you see it you'll spend a lot of time hitting your head and going 'WHAT?'.

Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus

I debated where I should follow up on the bad movie trend after The Room and in my quest to find the worst of the worst movies one name keeps popping back up, one company that made a name for itself trying to cash in with cheap rip-offs of Blockbusters. The Asylum.

Whilst they normally limit their activity to confusing fans by releasing movies such as Transmorphers, Alien VS Hunter or classics like Bram Stokers Dracula's Curse. The Asylum has since moved into making original productions, whether this is for better or worse is really up for debate. Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus has reached a large amount of popularity based on it's simple silliness, following a very set monster movie plot line the silliness is unfortunately seriously hampered. This movie is not as enjoyable as the Room, the acting is not by any measure good but for the most part tolerable and I can't really criticize the writing too much, the dialogue is cliched but never to an amusing level and even competent at times. That said it is difficult to imagine that the screenwriter had to sit down and write 'then the mega shark leapt thirty thousand feet into the air and ate a 747 jet'.

This movie really doesn't have a great re-watch value, The Room I was able to watch many times over, this however I struggled to get through once. Not because it was too bad such as Birdemic or anything but rather because it was just bad. It is worth a watch and certainly would be better seeing along in a group... preferably with alcohol.

Morning Glories

The first thing I ever heard of Morning Glories was that it was the comic equivalent of the TV series Lost. A comparison that it richly deserves, plot threads are introduced every episode often very surreal plot points. However while I've criticized Lost in the past for doing this, it was mostly because they were never connected and were never properly resolved. Morning Glories however has been acting in a far more cohesive way, it's released monthly and only up to issue 11 but so far feels as though everything is leading up to one final unified conclusion.

The series beings straight away with an escape attempt and graphic death, setting the oppressive tone that is kept through the entire series. There is a very brief lead up where we see the main characters at home with their families; the back story of the characters is something that I think is mostly meant to be released in the actual episodes as flash backs, for instance issue 10 has a lot of history on the character of Jun done very well. The problem with most of the back story being released in later issues is that this is a monthly release and as such we often have a lack of care about these characters and as such a lot of the oppressive atmosphere is lost.

The characters so far are the strongest thing about the writing in this series, you want to know more about them from the small hints that are given and most of them seem to be more then a little unhinged. Unstable characters are often the most interesting and finding out their motivation is enough to keep you coming back. So far I would give Morning Glories a tentative recommendation, teasing plot threads only work so long as you continue the feeling that it will all come together and that as new ideas are introduced the old ones are either tied in or explained. If you enjoy mysteries and the tension created by an oppressive environment then the characters are solid and the art work is impressive.

6/10

Best Non A-list Comic Characters: Part 1

I was musing on some of my favorite comic characters and I realised how few of them had been made mainstream. Yes they may be well known among comic fans but blank stares from people who only know the characters through movies, television, and through word of mouth. The clear stand out A-listers of the main characters use to be only, in my experience at least, Batman, Wonder Woman, Superman, X-Men, Hulk, and Spiderman. These days that has increased to include far more Marvel characters as their movie franchise has exploded over the last ten years now including The Fantastic Four, Thor, Iron Man, and of course the latest Captain America. Whilst there are many characters in that list that I love and a few who I read with regular continuity such as Batman the majority that I get excited about really are less known. And many of them really could have movies or television shows made about them, explaining the reasons for each.

Booster Gold - The D.C. Universe

This character has made an appearance on television as a one-shot character in season ten of Smallville. But I don't like that series so I'm going to ignore it. Booster Gold tells the story of a man from the 25th Century, who at the height of his success as a College Footballer throws a game in order to get some money for his family. Due to this being discovered no team will sign him and he is forced from the limelight to get whichever job he can, and thus become a night janitor at a Museum. There he steals a super suit and a time travel belt and uses his robot Skeet's knowledge of the past to become a popular hero. Originally seen with advertisements covering his costume he is an ambitious and often superficial hero who craves attention. Throughout a number of story arcs  he turns into a true hero who only wants what is best for the world but is hampered by his reputation as being a false hero. He has played major roles in DC cross over events such as 52 - which if you haven't read... you should. As well as playing the other major role in Flashpoint alongside The Flash.



The Birds of Prey - The D.C. Universe

Now this did in fact have it's own T.V. show... and despite good ratings was cancelled and only produced 13 episodes so I can't really call it well known. I hadn't even heard of it 'til I was researching this post. Seeming like a direct response to claims that comics can be overly male-centric The Birds of Prey features an all female main cast. I'd already mentioned a little about the 'brains' of the operation The Oracle in my first blog post about the DC Reboot. To recap quickly, originally Batgirl (Barbara Gordon, the daughter of Constable Jim Gordon) was paralysed after being shot by the Joker and took up the mantle of the Oracle - the information source for the Justice League. She then contacts Black Canary, a hero who has herself been going through an unfortunate period involving losing her powers due to a miscarriage as well as financial difficulties. Other strong, and often recognisable, female characters are introduced such as Hunteress, Lady Shiva, Catwoman, Harley Quinn and Lady Blackhawk. Originally written by Chuck Dixon the series reached its prominence under the penmanship of Gail Simon a popular writer, especially with myself, who will be writing Batgirl after the reboot in September.




Deadpool - The Marvel Universe

Deadpool first came to my attention in the X-Men Wolverine Origins, played by Ryan Reynolds, and I found him to be a very enjoyable character. Since then I have been slowly working through the comic history of Deadpool and I realised how watered-down and disappointing the movie's representation of Deadpool was. Originally a rip-off of Deathstroke 'Slade Wilson' from D.C., to the point where Deadpool was given the name Wade Wilson. However while Deathstroke is played completely serious, Deadpool turned into a parody of the hardened mercenary and it was the humor that really set this series apart form others. Deadpool frequently breaks the fourth wall and has two separate internal monologue boxes that frequently converse with each other. I am thrilled to write, and yet at the same time incredibly worried, about the news that there is to be a Deadpool Movie. At time of writing it is still only in scripting stage and thus wouldn't be coming out 'til 2014. I do like that they have the boys from Zombieland writing it although they have given its direction to Tim Miller, who so far only has two shorts and a documentary to his name. Considering how different a Deadpool movie would need to be from a normal movie set up, the lack of experience for Tim Miller may in fact be a good thing. Although that could just be hoping in vain that they don't completely mess up one of my favorite characters anymore than Wolverine did.

My little Bronie

In the spirit of being just a little behind the times I've spent the last few days getting through series one of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I never watched the series as a child due to a life threatening allergy to anything remotely girly or pink and as such stayed away from this reboot of the franchise. But then something happened, a good friend of mine told me it was amazing. A male friend. A male 19 year old friend. This confused me enough to investigate the first couple of episodes. And my God, was I hooked.

A lot of criticism, deservedly so can be passed to the original. There was no conflict, any songs were terrible, there was no real characterisation. As mentioned I hated anything that was girly, and there wasn't much that was more girly then 'My Little Pony', so I never saw the original series. For a better idea of it, you may want to check out the nostalgia Chick's review. The Nostalgia Chick - My Little Pony

Friendship is Magic fixes a lot of these problems, not fully though. The conflict started off really promisingly in the first two episodes, there is a lot of build up to the release of Nightmare Moon, and our main character Twilight Sparkle is forced to find a way to defeat her. The ending is a little sweet but this is a kids show so I'm prepared to let that slide, but the villain is made good in the second episode and then no one else replaces her. There is an individual conflict in each episode that genuinely relates to some sort of Sunday school message about racism or being a good sport; but I really feel it's lacking for not having a real villain. The idea that girls don't dig conflict is one I don't get, I don't think that you will loose your audience of little princess just because there is a bit of magic flung at an enemy.

The songs... oh the songs. What can I say about the music. A friend of mine who refuses to let me show him the episodes can't get one of the songs I showed him out of his head to my immense amusement. A real effort has been made to make them enjoyable and catchy, a few fans have in fact remixed several of the songs into techno beats. Bellow is an example of one of the bests.

Aside from the theme song this is the first musical number we get, and my lord what a good way to link into the characterisation. This is where we see the main difference between the old and new. The characterisation is unmistakable and there is no possible way of confusing say Fluttershy for Rainbow dash or Pinky Pie. Pinky Pie is incidentally the character singing, and to quote my friend Adrian's favorite line from the show, 'Pinky Pie you so random'. I don't really know how to describe her, I think most of the images in the video clip speak for itself so I will not focus on the other characters.

Rainbow Dash is a fast tomboyish, and rather proud, but never seriously, sports fiend. Fluttershy is the opposite the animal lover and soft spoken shy one in the group... you may have noticed that the names reflect the personalities slightly, and by slightly I mean simply restating it in condensed form. From this we look at AppleJack, a country hard working girl with a strong accent. A friend of mine watched the episode on racism and made the point that the most racist pony seemed to be Applejack the 'redneck pony', whilst I did giggle at this I don't think it holds up too much weight. As for the plot to work they needed one of the ponies with a younger sibling, and the only one at that time with an established younger sibling was Applejack. Latter on however we would be introduced to the little sis of Rarity, a prim and proper designer. Finally we have our main character, the only one whose name doesn't seem to represent her character at all Twilight Sparkle. Our main character and a serious and studious book worm. There is even a large variety of side characters with personalities on which I won't go in to.

As the characterisation is so strong it should come as no surpise that I had viewed the writing as the real difference between this show and the original My Little Pony. There have been a number of writers who worked on the first season and all seem very talented, but the cohesion of the whole show had made me believe there was a single writer, so I instead checked out the wikepedia entry and found the driving force behind it appears to have been the animator Lauren Faust. Who had previously worked on Fosters Home for imaginary Friends and Powerpuff Girls. Both shows that have had popularity with demographics older than their intended audience as such it shouldn't be too much of a surprise that this has been more popular with 19-24 year old males than the 9-12 female demographic it was aimed at. With things such as references to Benny Hill. Yet, as with many things that develop unexpected success, it really lies in controversy. 

Originally coming under fire for negative undertones of racism... because in the first episode the bad pony is black and the white one good (I really don't think this person watched more then five minutes of it) fourchan's creator saw the controversy and started to investigate. This led to the flooding of meme's of the ponies on fourchan which then continued to spread through the adult audiences. Proving yet again that if you hate something and find it offensive, the best thing you can do is to ignore it rather than publicly crucify it. Now I need to go and work on my next Tarot Review.

Ouran High School Host club

The reason there has been so few blog posts of late is a dear friend of mine got me hooked onto an anime, thank you L.J., I'd always avoided high school anime's like the plague because I always found the female characters insipid and the male characters dull at best and at worst ass-holes.

The first Manga I ever read was Fushgi-Yugi, and the only reason I could enjoy that was there was a host of likable side characters who almost ended up getting more focus time than the two main characters, an insipid girl and an ass-hole guy. Ouran High School Host manages to avoid these issues by not only having a strong support network of likable characters but our two mains feature an independent girl, and I do mean genuinely independent not the kind of 'grrr I'm in pain so I'm not going to let anybody close and be a total bitch until the last episode because all I really needed was a hug and a boyfriend' kind of independent. And the main guy in fun and only really has a chance with the girl once he attempts to change his personality for her. That said there is no real conclusion for the romance as the anime ended up getting ahead of the manga and didn't yet know the ending so it is left open for real possibilities. I am sure I am just one of many who really would like to see and second season.

Looking at the actual plot you have Haruhi, our main character being accepted into the prestigious Ouran Academy because of their amazing brains, and accidentally coming upon the Host Club whilst looking for a quiet place to study. Procedds to then knock over an expensive vase and has to work for the host club to pay it off. The big reveal that comes at the end of the first episode is that Haruhi is in fact a girl. The gender humour is where most of fun comes from, I have seen a few mangas and animes which have played up the gender humour angle, most memorably Ranma 1/2 which features the main character turn into a girl when drenched in cold water and back to a boy in hot water. Ouran Host Club really plays down the mistaken identity angle which is used often in anime and manga. Aside from the first episode where the reveal of Haruhi as a girl, I can only think of 2 instances where hiding her identity as a girl is the main drama.

Ouran Host Club is also the first instance where I've ever been remotely confronted with what's called Yaoi. For those who don't know Yaoi is the mange or anime that focuses around 'boy-boy love', showing over romanticized feminine men in relationships generally for the enjoyment of female readers. Just as a lot of lesbian related material is done for male readers rather than for lesbians themselves. Ouran Host Club however plays this up for laughs and is more a parody of the culture then actually being Yaoi itself.

If you enjoy anime or looking for something that is a pretty light and very tongue in cheek with really likable characters then I would heartily recommend it.

8/10

The Room

Well, I thought that I've been reviewing so many things I love and praise as good it's time for me to take a quick walk down some of the doggier streets of the entertainment city, keeping my hand closely around my bag and my eyes to the ground. And I decided to start this walk with a movie that is unquestionably, undeniably bad, but also just so enjoyable!

Released in 2003 and proclaimed by the director/producer/writer/actor Tommy Wiseau to be 'the next street car named desire', The Room has reached a level of notoriety as a cult classic to rival that of something like the Evil Dead series. People go and see it with props and catch phrases ready just as they do for Rocky Horror Picture Show. But what is it that makes it so bad, why is this movie so monumentally made of fail and yet enjoyable. Let us take it in three parts, the writing, the cinematography and finally the acting.

The writing needs to be taken in 2 parts, the story and the dialogue. The story can be summarised as girl cheats on boy with his best friend. By no means a revolutionary concept, but it is in the finner more unique details that makes the story really stand out, important contemporary issues that carry important weight such as breast cancer, gang violence and drugs are picked up and then dropped faster than this script would have been by any studio in their right mind. A perfect example of this would be the main girl, Lisa's, mother. One of their incredibly brief conversations goes as such.

Mother: Everything always goes wrong at once, no-one wants to help me, and I'm dying.

Lisa: Your not dying mum.

Mother: I got the results of the test, I definitely have breast cancer.

Lisa: Don't worry mum every things going to be fine, they're curing lots of people every day.

And that's it. It is never mentioned again. But back to the plot, or what we are meant to assume is the plot. It starts with Johhny (Tommy Wiseau) and Lisa (Juliette Danielle) being a happy and prosperous couple. Well at least Johhny is prosperous at his job at the bank doing... something unspecified as compared to Lisa's job which apparently makes far less and in very competitive and has something to do with computers. Then, for no reason Lisa announces that she is unhappy and after her mother tries to draw in her 'rebelious attitud' which just causes her to run into the confused arms of Mark. And I mean confused, no matter how many times they have sex he always seems completely dumbfounded by what is happening. Character development takes a back seat too... well I'm not really sure what it is that Tommy Wiseau has replaced it with. He certainly writes in opportunity for character development, there is an incident where Mark is confronted by another friend about his affair with Lisa and then goes off and shaves his beard. I had originally thought that this was meant to represent him getting his life in order and he was going to start being a good friend but then he just sleeps with Lisa and goes back to being a bit of a confused dick. So, there is no character development at all.

Does the writing improve with the dialogue, short answer no, long answer... noooooooooo. Well, to be fair the dialogue is only bad, not as horrible as the characters or plot. The only reason some lines are so memorable is in their delivery, this brings us right into the acting. It is spectacularly strange to watch, like seeing a children's play but you don't have the excuse of politeness to stop yourself from laughing. The worst of the worst is our star, Tommy Wiseau, who you could spend the entire movie attempting to guess just what accent he has. Hi acting is bland to periods where he tries to emote and just painfully inflicts on the wrong words. But we can thank him for the Internet meme of...

'YOUR TEARING ME PART LISA'

That isn't to say that the other actors are much better. Juliette Danielle's main acting talent seems to lie in her ability to pout, and pout, and pout... and... pout. She is also able to make every one of the sex scenes she is in awkward as she struggles to remove clothing in fluid movements. The other special actor to mention is Phillip Haldiman as Denny. This character... confuses most, and understandably so. He is said to be the 'ward' of Johnny, as Johnny wanted to adopt him and is now paying for his apartment in the same building. Ummm... and the first scene we have with Denny is him wanting to go up to the bed room with the 2 main characters and then follows them up saying 'I just like to watch you guys'. I believe the actor was going for charmingly innocent, but he just comes across as perverted and creepy.

The cinematography of this is, special. Most of the shots are well done if a little boring and pretty standard. Its the endless shots of San Fransisco that causes with stock music over it that gets painful, especially if you set a drinking game to it. The editing is often confusing and I am positive they got the order of certain shots wrong at one point.

All these things considered, you really do need to see this. Three weeks after it came out and was canned as a drama and praised as an accidental comedy Tommy Wiseauamusing but just comes of as tired. This is really Tommy Wiseau's magnus opum. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGpwxHMUndk

Vampire Porn, a Guilty Pleasure - Spoilers

Vampire porn really should be it's own sub-genre, there's vampire teen porn such as Twilight (Check the link bellow for an amazing blog that trashes it completely) or more respected works such as Vampire Academy which I haven't read. Then there is adult vampire porn, things such as True Blood or my personal favorite and the topic of this blog Anita Blake Vampire Hunter. 

Laurel K. Hamilton is a slight wonder as a writer, she has a technical skill level that is acceptable to good but amazingly manages to hit every cliche and stereotype you would expect this genre to have in dialogue, character and story. Reading the first in the series Guilty Pleasures was three of the funnest hours of my life. I had to stop at one point because I couldn't control my laughter.

Set in a similar world to that of True Blood, vampires have made their presence know in society and have even be recognised as citizens. Our hero, Anita Blake is a detective and also a necromancer, not a nymphomaniac... although from what I've heard of later books in the series she could be that as well. She is hired to investigate a murder of a vampire, but not without the proper motivation. As the vampires hypnotize a friend of hers, apparently vampires have the super abilities to completely control humans just by looking at them. I'll deal with the problems of this later, but Anita is somewhat immune due to her abilities as a necromancer. This is however the first in the large number of incredibly terrible things the supposed love interest does. Now. Ignoring the common trait of vampires getting a free-ride on anything terrible they do because they.... I don't know, usually talk with sexy accents. I don't know how anyone is meant to take Jean Claude Seriously. He is a french vampire who runs a special vampire strip club from which the book gets it's title, he wears... for the entire time, an open frilly poet shirt, with leather pants and thigh high leather boots over the leather pants. Just to give you the best idea I have included a picture from the graphic novel version.

We are meant to take this man seriously.

And I'm pretty sure most of his muscles don't really exist in anatomy... vampire or otherwise.

Anita is taken to meet the grand high eldest vampire of the city... and it is a little girl DUN DUN DUHHH. This book really is just a check list of vampire cliches. Lets see what have we had so far...

Human protagonist with vampire 'love' interest...                                    
Check
Main vampire having some form of accent... that is sexy...                    
Check
Blatant corruption of innocence...                                                            
Check


Anyway, after a brush with the vampire master one of the key plot points of the series gets dropped, and that is that Jean Claude has made the first step to turning Anita into a human servant. Now I'm going to repeat that, a human servant. Something that happens completely against her will. Yeah... this love story is really going to annoy me by the end of it. Anita continues to stumble along in her quest to solve the mystery of the vampire serial killer, involving a few other human characters and some other vampire characters. I have to ask, are there any non good looking guys in this world. I mean, I'm not really complaining, wohoo hot guys! But do they all have to have the most basic archetypal stereotypes of what woman are supposed to go for? There's the bad guy who I am going to call the Heathcliff, this would be the Jean Claude and the one we are meant to go for, please note that when I say attractive I mean the book keeps telling us he's attractive. There's the sweetie, the one who may be a little off in their arrogance  but that's just cause they need someone to understand , the one who probably just needs a hug, let us call him... the Ryan Reynolds. And for this we have Philip, someone whose tortured past has led him to become an arrogant stripper and former vampire junkie. He also dies. Sorry if that was your type ladies, but he's the first in a long line so don't you worry. And then the bad ass, the one who has come here to kick ass and chew bubble gum... and he's all out of gum. Although a little different, no doubt due to the fact that he is American instead of British I am going to call him the Bond, James Bond. And so we meet Edward... sighhhhhh. Edward is introduced and gives Anita a shotgun as a present and kills more vampires then the supposed protagonist... and my god he is so fucking bad ass! I mean he's just the coolest fucking thing in this entire series!!! He's... *cough*

Soooo... ummm... back to the plot...

Essentially Anita discovers who is killing vampires, takes on and kills the head vampire, the 10 year old Nikolaos... whose name I have no idea how to pronounce and also kills the vampire Valentine. Valentine was what could have been an interesting plot device for future, Valentine attacked Anita and gave her a massive scar, and she scarred his face with holy water. Despite no doubt fighting stronger vampires this one had a place in the back of her mind because he was attacked her when she was still new and young and vulnerable. I really think killing him was a missed opportunity, it wasn't even some grand final fight, she injected him with liquid silver whilst he slept... what heart pounding action!

The main plot points to take away from this though is that Anita has received 2 or the 4 marks that will make her Jean Claude's, who has become master of the vampires in the city, human servant. She even has an opportunity to kill him but decides not to because, and I quote 'I may regret it later'. Gahhhh. Oh Anita, I'm sure you wouldn't have... its not like you don't know some attractive strong but not completely psycho guys... like Edward...

Link to Twilight bashing http://the-snarktress.blogspot.com/

Lesbian Vampire Killers

I've been doing so many comics of late that I really felt I need a change, this is a movie that really slipped under the radar for a lot of people and I really don't think it should have. And while I would not put it on the level of comedy parodies such as Hot Fuzz it really was genuinely funny and really enjoyable. Lesbian Vampire Killers. And in answer to your first question this is about killers of lesbian vampire rather than lesbian killers of vampires.

When the second Twilight movie came out my friends and I enjoyed a movie marathon night called 'Real Vampires don't sparkle', in this aside from some of the classics we looked for new vampire movies and couldn't go past the title. This is a really upbeat movie that I'm not going to lie has a large amount of it's humour based in dick jokes. Normally this is the kind of humour that I really don't like and yet I've seen this so many times and still are not sick of it.

Focusing on our two main hero's, Fletch and Jimmy; played by James Corden and Mathew Horne, who have come to Cragwich on holiday hiking as Fletch has lost his job and Jimmy just got dumped, and neither have the money to do anything fun... I know the feeling. Little did they know that the town of Cragwich has an ancient curse over it, a curse that brings the infestation of really really hot chicks. And as night falls they, and some other hot chicks... from Sweden, have to fight for their lives against the Army of Darkness.... Groovy.

It's in the writing that the talent of this comedy duo really comes through, whilst I can't really call it 'witty' as the humour is all based solely around the idea of dicks and lesbians, two concepts that are somewhat dancing opposites there is something delightfully British about them. I know this may sound strange that I like the comedy simply because it's British, as though they have a free pass on making low brow dick jokes because of their high class accents but quiet frankly anyone who enjoyed watching the Python boys dressed as girls will probably enjoy at least some of the humour of Lesbian Vampire Killers. And if you haven't then what is wrong with you?

My copy autographed by Paul Mcgann, playing the Vicor.

4/5

Tarot - issues 16-20

BOOK 16

Halloween time is here. What kinda of dastardly evil shall the horror month cook up. Gingerbread men and a cookie woman. Please forgive my bad pun.

It pretty much is self explanatory. Tarot and Raven battle a cookie woman who believes the best way to love things is too eat them. Which she learnt because the witch who created her basically abused her and confused her... he got his come up ens when she shows her 'love' of him whilst fingering herself. The cookies are defeated with the help of a Harry Potter rip off and John takes the ghost of the Siamese twins eight year old trick-a-treating.

High points: I really do sit and just wait for something to come to me for these high points. Umm the sheer irony of Tarot trying to explain sexual exploitation to a cookie whilst she is naked and having the exact same cookie like frosting off her. 

Low points: The teeth of the ginger bread men look really painful, maybe this should be in my high points cause its one of the things he actually did well, but I've seen vampire bites that look like less then pain.

Fav Quote: You guys are Na-ked! (the worlds most honest line in this series)

BOOK 17

Wow, just wow. What the fuck, really? What was the point of this episode? The only way I can explain it is Tarot, Raven and John have some kinky foreplay with a faerie. God I wish I didn't have to do this.

High points: Nothing, other then the mere existence of more flying cats there is nothing I like about this episode.

Low points: Where to start. Raven getting felt up by a snow man, a continued spank off, John accidentally having sex with Raven, yes I mean accidentally. He's unconscious and tied to her and he somehow becomes hard, naked in the snow, whilst unconscious. Seriously this boy has a blood flow problem that needs to be examined by science. 

Fav: Quote: ... I have none, there really wasn't much to laugh at here

BOOK 18

Luke, I am your Filler!

This episode is pointless, it consists of the faeries stealing dairies of Tarot, Raven, and Boo telling three pointless stories. Tarot doing battle with another devil, for a story which claims that the devil is a construct of Christianity and doesn't really exist he sure shows up a lot. Raven's battle with being teased about her large breasts and coming to accept what she looks like. Then we have Boo talking about meeting Tarot for the first time and being the little sexual vixen that Boo is.

High points: ... I got nothing.

Low points: This is a pointless issue, I'm actually looking forward to getting back to the story. It again tries to be empowering and teach women and people in general not to judge on looks and not to label or confine sexuality. But in the most stupid way possible, the faeries talking literally feels like a sailor says message or the end of a G-I-Joe episode or even dare I say Captain Planet.

BOOK 19

Well we are back to the story arcs. This issue introduces a new villain the sexually ambiguous  Azure. I lie he is a man, elf, vampire, thing. The point is he is masculine. In the same way that Frankenfuther in Rocky Horror Picture Show is masculine. I have finally found the real reason  why there are so few men in this comic, he can't draw them.

Basically, Tarot has a vision of war, Raven has some god dam gay elf walk in while she is bathing offer her the world and flirt with her. Tarot and mum break up the eventual snu snu and then Azure raises an army and suddenly Raven is standing beside him taking a second shot at the world. Also it should be noted John and Boo are taken hostage by these vampire chicks.

High points: Raven totally getting over the fact that Azure broke into her house and possessed stones to hold her down and 'relax' her because he turned a brush into flowers and kisses her. Wow Raven. Just wow.

Low Points: More Boo stripping, for no real reason

BOOK 20

More sexual exploitation of men, John, for no real reason is held hostage by the Medusa's tribe. Who plan to mate with him, turn him to stone, and then mate with him. It should be noted one looks shockingly like Angelina Jolie, I always knew she was a Medusa. They bite him and drug him... again. We find out that Raven and Azure have been having a relationship, and doing all kinds of romantic things like braiding each others hair (no really).  Pointless scene of Boo in a cage and then they find out Azure was an elf who went insane and waged war on man kind. So it looks like his and Raven's relationship is built on some serious mutual interests. The issue ends with Raven, Tarot and Mummy about to do battle with the two vampire elf sex slaves of Azure and their zombie warthogs.

High points: Watching Azure  braid Ravens hair to show how emotionally close, they really do look like teenage girls from the baby sitters club.

Low Points: Boo in a fucking cage and being forced to crawl. It serves no point but to have drooling boys see a combination of fetishes too numerous to count.

Empowered

Considering the amount of time I've devoted to the titans of the comic industry Marvel and D.C. Although it's not as though I've made some painfully obvious favouritism towards one of the two, *cough* *cough* *DC* *cough*. But I thought I should give some attention to comics from the little, rather strange, brother of the comic heavy hitters Dark Horse. Known for comics such as Buffy, Star Wars and Angel. This is also on the heels of some of my feminist rants for Tarot Witch of the Black Rose, I can talk about a comic that uses female sexuality well. Empowered. It has the main female lead being tied and gaged as Tarot but does it in a way that doesn't make me want to hunt down the author and drop him in a room of blood thirsty feminists dressed in a shirt that reads 'If your here, whose cooking me dinner?' The reason for this is that the author Adam Warren has a distinctly tongue in cheek style of writing that only leaves me to wonder how many jokes he would have made about the phrase 'tounge in cheek'. The fact that the main character is continuously tied and gaged is a joke amongst her other superheros.

Elissa is the main character, and inspired by the death of her dad when she was a child she has become a super hero, through means unknown she has ascertained a super suit that allows her super strength as well as a few other powers. The skin tight suit however looses power if it is damaged in any way and while it can stand up to showers of bullets but can rip easily and often does. As such she is often rendered powerless and captured by, well, everybody. Unlike Tarot, please forgive me but this comparison will pop up a lot, she is not a self confident  character, she is plagued by body images and insecurities. Elissa, nicknamed Empowered, or Emp for short, does not want to be wearing only the skin tight suit but cannot wear anything under or over it as that then negates the power of the suit or gives her visible pantie lines. Despite often being captured and humiliated, both by the villains, and her fellow superheros, including the more goth looking Sistah Spooky, we find out this is because of her own past insecurities, Emp is always willing to stand up and fight again. She is someone who has a power that is very unreliable yet will still try to be the best hero she can be. Granted there is a point where you really must ask whether she is planning on changing career paths at some point. But she has had moment where it appears as though she may grow into the roll, as well as being seen actively training and trying to improve. This is another thing that sets her apart from Tarot who despite being continuously tied, gagged and milked (no, really) she never seems to learn anything new or even feel as though she has to do better. Emp is a student of the superhero. She has room to grow and the desire to do so.

Elissa has a strong support network, although not a first, her boyfriend and friend are introduced and play off each other like a real world relationship. Ignoring the super powers and super villains. When I look at the boyfriend I again feel myself wanting to make the Tarot comparison, John, the apparent gender swap of the Tarot books is weaker than Tarot and often finds himself in perilous situations. He however is rarely rescued by Tarot. Which is one of the entire points about the gender swap, if you are having a male in the traditional damsel in distress role than he needs to be saved by the female protagonist. But John is not, he is either saved by himself or random other characters, and more often than not is saving Tarot because Jim Balent, the author, has a fascination with trying to be the knight in shinning armour to big busted witches in bikinis' who keep shouting about how they can protect themselves but never can. Thugboy, Elissa's boyfriend, is shown to be able to protect himself. And when he gives emotional support to Elissa it is believable. The relationship between the two of them seems to be the right mix of respect for her skills and a manly desire to protect her.

The drawing is very reminiscent of Manga, not a problem for me as I was reading Manga long before I started reading comics. For fans of a more Western drawing style though shouldn't just dismiss it. A common criticism of Manga is that it over simplifies facial structures and uses a more, shall we say, cartoonish. Empowered is beautifully drawn, if you are not a fan of Manga you may have some difficulty getting into the art style but I would recommend that you do at lease give it a try.

All this may make you think Empowered is without its flaws and is some kind of feminist polemic. It is not. It is still an excuse to draw women in revealing clothes or nothing at all as well as playing to the bondage crowd. It is saved by the fact that it doesn't pretend to be anything other than this, as well as a healthy mix of humor. Some of the jokes can get a little repetitive, but that may be because I attempted to read more than one volume in a single sitting. I'm still on volume 2 and if my opinion changes I shall inform you but for the moment Empowered is an enjoyable mix of adult humour, beautiful art, a real self-awareness and just a lot of fun.

7.5/10

New news about Superman in the reboot

Well with September coming closer more information about some of the changes that we can expect are coming into the light. The Source (see link bellow) has given the info that we can expect Superman to be a younger and more brooding individual. He has never been married to Lois Lane, whilst we knew their relationship had come to an end because of the reboot a lot had assumed a divorce, apparently in this reality Lois is dating a reporter at the Daily Planet who is not Clark Kent. She also has a new unknown job at the paper. I wonder if it is a more undercover reporter to fit in with the Flashpoint Lois Lane who is hiding as a member of the resistance.

Superman also is in the infancy of his powers, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound he cannot yet be air born. This is a change I like, I must admit this is one of the few steps I've seen to suggest that D.C. may actually be committed to completely rebooting the series and not just a half hearted effort that will change after a few issues. Showing Superman grow will be a nice development for the new readers D.C. is so desperate to attract. Growth is also one of the things that annoys me. Apparently Superman is an orphan twice over, first from Krypton but apparently Ma and Pa Kent also get the axe. Giving Superman a darker past like a character such as Batman may seem like a good idea in theory, but it was Superman's loving past that allowed him to associate with mankind and why he always went out of his way to save us. Having a more tragic upbringing will lead to a more, for want of a better word, emo character. I fear that this is a cheap excuse for a few stories about Superman turning evil or simply whining a lot. We do not want Superman to turn into Superboy Prime. Anyone who thinks we do should have their head examined.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt 2 - no spoilers

It's strange to think that I've finally seen the last Harry Potter, and while there are fans there will be people making money off them with spin offs a re-releases. This marks the end of the real era of Harry Potter. My generation grew up reading the books and then a movie experience that was unlike any other. There has never been a movie experience quiet like this, when you think about it the money, the time, the cast, how many years of people's lives went into making this, it is one of the largest entertainment projects ever created, allowing the characters to visibly grow at the same time as the audience. In that respect it's reminiscent of an old family sitcom where the babies grow up into the socially awkward teenagers we are meant to relate to, just... with magic and death. For that reason alone Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt 2 should be seen, and even if it wasn't it's still a movie worth seeing.

If you haven't read the books or seen the previous movies no. Although well made, the movie is for fans and requires a certain level of knowledge. That said fans of the movie need to see this for closure. And no matter what I say that will happen, but you should see this in theatres, the cinematography is beautiful, the battles have a real sense of grandeur to them. Granted it is not on the level of the battles in Return of the King, but you do still enjoy and get sucked into the chaos of it all.

The restraints that rested on this movie meant that it was never going to be the best thing I'd seen all year, it was based on a book that felt a little rushed by the end and was basically a 20 minute set up into 2 hours of battle. Not to mention the most maddening epilogue that has ever existed. That said it holds up well. The actors have all evolved into their parts and I think the fact that the movies had been such a part of their lives that emotions come off as rather real. Especially in the supporting cast, Nevil, Luna, McGonagall and Snape were the real high points for me. The scene where the teachers prepare for battle is one of the best in my opinion, it really brings tension and a great feeling of dread for the upcoming battle. I even think the way they handled Snape's character was more emotional and far more sympathetic than it was in the books.

That said there were a few things that I didn't like, due to time constraints they couldn't really pay enough attention to the other students, especially those who don't make it. Perhaps they were trying to make it somewhat less dark for the small children but I would have liked the people who didn't make it to have more of an epic death. In fact no one actually dies on screen from the good guys. That I didn't like at all, characters, especially fan favorites should be given a glorious end but that's only something that really bothers me in retrospect. Finally the epilogue, to be fair to this movie, it handled it as well as it could given the source material. There is no a single person I have talked to who liked or could even stand the epilogue from the book, and the only reason people groan in the movie version is because they can't help but remember the book version. It is a little too sweet but would have been acceptable had people not been able to dissociate themselves from the original.

4/5 - Go see it in theatres Harry Potter fans, it needs to be experienced first hand.

Hero's who use lethal force - anti-heros in comics

Whilst making a comment about Batman's and other hero's refusal to use lethal force it got me thinking about those who do. Granted they are usually called 'anti-heros', which I like to define as people who work towards a heroic end with unheroic means. This is a look at them, as well as some of the other kinds of anti-hero's in comics

It is strange that I would have an issue with hero's refusing to take life as I personally am strongly against the death penalty. I believe the difference is that these are not real lives, and yes they may be real lives to the hero's who take them but I often find the refusal to take life stems almost more from a simple desire to have the most popular villains return rather than the morals of the hero. And as such it often rings false and simply annoying to the cynic in me. A hero should have a good personal reason for the decision not to take life, here I use Batman as a positive example, his parents murder at gunpoint and as such he refuses to use guns or lethal force. Superman's upbringing in Smallville taught him a strong moral core.

Does this make the hero's who will kill less honourable. Looking again at Batman, and Batman from Flashpoint we have two opposites. Bruce and then Thomas Wayne. Here we have a Batman who clearly will not kill and one who has and will again. Thomas Wayne seems even more brooding then his son, this is understand as loosing your parents at a young age can be traumatic, but it is a death that as an adult you learn probably would have happened anyway. A parent is not expected to outlive their children. Does his unhappiness stem simply from his loss or the emptiness that revenge has left him with. A general distinction between the two would be the word 'revenge' compared to 'justice'. The key difference being in the morals that motivate the actions, Thomas Wayne appears to act from a desire to punish those who killed is son and wife (granted I have only read the first of three issues) while Bruce seems more motivated to make sure no one goes through the pain that he went through. The lack of Robin in Batman Flashpoint I think is the real evidence of this. Say what you want about the boy wonder but he really was meant to represent the 'heart' of you were of Batman, the evidence of his real motivation being not revenge but justice and the benefit of society.

Thomas Wayne is a fairly typical example of an anti-hero, but he's not the best example because he is going to be compared to Batman, one of the best comic super hero's. A different good example is the hero Frankenstein from the mini series Flashpoint- Frankenstein and the Creatures of the Unknown. I've already written a lot about him in my views on the D.C. reboot, but suffice to say he is a hero who does kill. In fact he kills Hitler. Which is awesome. I would say that this is because while Frankenstein is strong, and in many respects immortal he doesn't have the power of someone like say Superman, who generally has the ability to stop criminals without using lethal force. Hero's who have less power find themselves in need of taking every opportunity to end a fight, even if it may mean the death of the villain.

Hero's who have a large popular following can get away with killing it seems, Wolverine's attitudes make him a excellent example of an anti-hero. At least in his origins, people often complain that there is too much continuity to follow to jump on to new comics. That said, it is mostly just continuity in terms of relationships and previous enemies that changes, personalities rarely do. I've only just started to read X-men comics and yet the personalities are exactly what I expected based on my knowledge of the movies, and animated series. The amount of time that Wolverine has spent with the X-men, his relationships with the female members and mentoring roles to others should have helped to turn him more into a leader rather than the 'lone wolf' personality that is so iconic to him. This is not really a complaint so much as an observation. There does not seem to be a member of the X-men team to compare Wolverine too as I do not believe there is a member who has not at one point or another used lethal force. Those more acquainted with the Marvel universe please feel free to correct me. So in this case to ascertain the value of the anti-hero compared to the hero we look to a different Marvel hero, Captain America. Captain America is a hero very similar to Superman in many respects, it is his more limited power that I think makes him more accessible to people.

Is Wolverine more popular than Captain America, at least in the main stream non-comic crowd, as possibly even in the comic readers themselves, because of his attitude. He is just more enjoyable to read, he treats people in authority the way we want to respond to the authority figures in our life.

A different kind of anti-hero, at least in the style of comic would be V from V for VendettaWeaving's voice.

Where does the line stand between hero, anti-hero and villain. Well our final two examples are easily considered in the villain line and yet have some thing special about them. First off we have Selina Kyle, Catwoman. Catwoman is considered a 'harmless' villain, I in no way intend to minimise her abilities as an ass-kicker, I mean that her crimes tend not to hurt people. She only really steals from the wealthy because they are the only people to have the jewelery and gems she is interested in and doesn't kill. She will even help the hero's stop worse villains as long as it doesn't inconvenience herself too much. This kind of villain allows for an interesting relationship with the hero, especially in the case of gender opposites such as Batman and Catwoman. This is probably one of my favorite kinds of anti-hero, while most breeds of anti-hero are brooding hero's these ones are fun and enjoyable  cheeky characters who play off more serious hero's.

The final example is one who has funny crossed the line into villain, and in my humble opinion is a villain with one of the best back stories and motivations. Magneto will kill, he has in the past and will kill again. Unlike some villains such as the Joker who kill for pleasure or saw Dr. Doom who does for power Magneto believes in his cause. He believes that humans and mutants cannot coexist and that Mutants are the next form of evolution. Magneto doesn't believe this without cause, he has seen mankind at their worst over and over again. What is especially interesting about this villain is that he has actually been a hero in the past. There was a run of X-men that had Charles Xavier killed and Magneto decided to follow his friends lead, and despite his own personal views he lives to a higher standard of morals and from what I've heard from my friends this was a fantastic run. Magneto was really good as a hero, and ignoring the horrible way in which that was ended it is because of his real motivations, and capacity for good that I consider Magneto in the realms of the anti-hero as well as the villain.

This all ended up becoming more of a tangent then the planned study of the idea of anti-hero's it was meant to be. So I'll now try to compose the thoughts into the main points.
1. Anti-hero's do things that are morally wrong. Frankly wolverine only really just makes it into the anti-hero, hero's with attitude problems really should be their own sub set of hero.
2. They generally need a tragic past to explain their actions, it for this reason that Batman is often called a anti-hero, but I don't frankly think his occasional bad cop action of scaring people, he never kills and his actions are only really bad when compared to boy scouts such as Superman and Captain America.
The most important question I asked is an anti-hero less heroic then a hero. First as a hero. If we take the idea that hero's of comics are real then who would we want to be protecting us. The boy scout perfect hero's who will take the time to save a cat from a tree whilst protecting the world from Darkseid. As a role model however, as a fictional character for us to follow, the anti-hero is easier for us to identify with and can make for a stronger read. They are easier for us to identify with and their problems and also more with their decisions, after all even though I am against the death penalty if I had come up against the Joker that many times I can't say that I wouldn't have gently knocked him off a tall ledge by now.

As such I am unwilling to throw away the more archetypal hero's such as Superman, or Captain Marvel.   It can be argued that it is harder to write a compelling story about them as their powers do raise them far above humanity, as do their moral cores. Both anti-hero's and hero's have their important place in fiction. They work against each other as contrasts. And I don't believe that one is better than the other.

Tarot - issues 11-15

BOOK 11

Just over 12 hours left... may God have mercy on my soul.

So this issue finishes up Tarot's vision quest, featuring a brief flirtation with the devil. Where the devil slips an imp into her pants... I am not making this up. This all seems rather at odds with what this whole book has been preaching. Women's sexuality is a good thing (They may say it in the most warped way possible but that is what they want to say), so why is the evil thing tempting her sexuality and by giving into she'll fail? Doesn't that seem kinda, well, stupid? They can't even get their message right for a 20 page issue. wow. Tarot dies (briefly) Raven morns and apologies (then tries to kill John, yeah real sorry she is), at which point Tarot comes back in shiny white armor that we will never see again. Raven makes out with Tarot (again, I wish I was kidding but I'm not) and then John does and then he is flown out of his pants and back to Salem by Raven. To her credit she doesn't kill him but still its just her being a dick.

High points: TENTACLES!! It's actually a pretty sad thing that I'm gonna count this as the 'high point' of the issue, especially since its one the bloody cover but the sheer ridiculousness of about seven different thorny rose vines reaching into her underwear is just like the utter shamelessness of Tarot we've come to know and... well... know at the very least.

Low points: Raven. I know I seem to be ragging on her a lot and this issues does to a bit seem to have her seeing the consequences of her actions but will continue throughout the series to show blatant disregard for the three-folds rule which has now almost killed her mother and her sister because of her. Seriously what a dick.

Fav Quote: Let the world drink from you milk of imagination (whilst someone paints nipples on her armor, and I gotta say that's where all my creative ideas come from too... just forget I said that)

BOOK 12

To FILLER AND BEYOND!!!!

This issue features none of the main characters. And I gotta say it's one of my fav's, pretty much just for that reason. This issues focuses entirely around Boo cat and Licorice Dust, speaking a bit about each of their origins. Starting with Boo cat who strips to transform and remembers the first time, (she transformed on Halloween the first time so her fur looks like a Jack-o-lanterns face) she then runs off to find a gift for her girlfriend and we see a pair of eyes watching her... hmm... at a rough guess I'm gonna say this ends up in a rape attempt, you know, something different for this series. Then we see Licorice who is visited by three other vampire cheerleaders. We find out that they goths at school, were rejected for the cheerleaders cause they were goth, met a vampire, transformed, killed the vampire and then went and killed the cheerleaders who made fun of them with rats.
Then back to Boo cat who is buying some oils for Dust and is attacked by a werewolf who, say it with me, wants to rape her! They fight and then she says on of the most forced empowering speech's for women ever. I would really like this speech about how it is a women's right to sleep with whoever she chooses and say no to whoever she chooses. If it wasn't for the fact that they feel the need to say it 3 fucking times. Twice in the fight and once when she wins. NO. Just once when she wins is all you need people. It would have been three times stronger to have her do that!!! Anyway, she goes back to meet Licorice and it turns out that her cheerleader friends are gifts for Boo cat and a five some begins. Thankfully here is where it ends.

High point: I gotta give some credit to Licorice here, when the vamp shows up they agree to be transformed and then he does the whole, now you are slaves for blah blah blah. At which point they seduce him while Licorice impales him from behind with a sharpened hockey stick. There are a lot of things I like about that.

Low point: Is every male in this either completely fucking useless or a rapists, seriously the world of magic seems to be filled with more perverts then central park and night. Needless to say I didn't enjoy the attempted rape. And I just realised how stupid that sounds.

Fav Quote: Your fruit is tender, your nectar warm. You are ripe for my picking. (I hope he pays attention when doctors say he also needs two fruit and five vegetables a day)

BOOK 13

The obligatory Chuckie episode. When you get right down to it there is never a magic story set in the real world that wont at one point or another use the haunted doll idea. Hell even Sailor moon did it, and whats more did it better then this.

Anyway, to skim the plot, a young doll maker is possessed by a haunter weegie bored and makes creepy dolls, John goes to her to have one of Tarot made, the girl dies, is brought back to life as a doll, by her... dolls. And then goes to kill Tarot so that she can have her body parts. Fight ensues and doll thing escapes with the promise to return. As far as I've read she hasn't yet sooo, this episode is kinda pointless.

High Points: ... A giant demonic teddy bear kicking the crap outta John, yeah, I like that part :)

Low Points: Tarot is fucking useless, seriously, she gets tied up by her stuffed animals. Yeah, this is our empowering female role model, she then gets her arse kicked by the doll lady herself. SHE IS A TERRIBLE FIGHTER!!!

Fav Quote: Well, since you showed me your pussy it's only polite of me to show you mine... (they're talking about her doll cat, what the hell did you think I was talking about)

BOOK 14

No... no! I think you've got this wrong. Empowering women, does not mean the sexual exploitation and quiet literally drug rape of men. That's not how it works.

So in case you didn't guess this issue has a lot of focus of Tarot's boyfriend John. The worlds most useless superhero and the comic relief figure for the series. He's like Merry and Pippen, if Merry and Pippen spent their time getting sexually assaulted by every female elf they came across. And have fun trying to get that out of your head.

This issue has the spring time celebration of Belentine. Where the main event seems to be John chasing Tarot through the forest to sleep with her. But because of some pesky pixies John wonders into the spirit world is kidnapped by some troll women for their queen, paint him green and drug him (that is the only way to look at it). He then in a drug haze he goes through the world having sex with various female characters with Tarot following just after woods. Now considering most of these characters are attractive some might say hey most men wouldn't mind but he literally does not know what is happening. When he cums he thinks its fireworks... I'M NOT KIDDING! Anyway Tarot saves him and takes him back to the party, still naked, he has no memory of it and they end kissing... how... romantic?

High points: Oh my god where can I begin on how little there is to enjoy in this issue. I kinda like that because of the celebrations Raven stops being a dick and even gives John a kiss... but I mean that's really scraping the bottom the barrel there.

Low points: RAPING MEN IS NOT FEMALE EMPOWERMENT!!

Fav Quote: And speaking of pickles, why is it pointing north? So far North! (From Tarot's mum, yeah you heard that right)

BOOK 15

More Filler.

This issue focuses on Crypt Chick, her still being upset at you know, being dead. She was having a great life preforming as a rock star in crosses. Just crosses, yeah that's pretty much all she wares. Anyway, threes this bit with a dinosaur, yes really. And then John makes a band of ghosts for the Crypt Chick to sing for.

High points: This episode was pretty unoffensive, you had Crypt Chick doing her usual thing and John doing something nice for a friend. Granted when on stage she does things with a microphone cord that probably shouldn't be done on stage unless your at a different kind of club.

Low points: This was pretty much just filler, no real point to it, the action wasn't that exciting. I liked that it was not offensive but at least to offensive issues are kinda more interesting.

Fav Quote: You never said they were dinosaur bones.